Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Cameron Wake Needs to Get Paid

Cameron Wake goes after quarterbacks like he watched them murder his parents as a child and he's spent his whole life plotting revenge. He is easily my favorite Dolphin. Even in 2009, when he was only used for special blitz situations, when he is on the screen, your eyes are drawn to him. He brings an intensity that is palpable. Unfortunately, that intensity is now being aimed at the Dolphins due to the fact that he is currently getting paid 1/4 the salary of our kicker.

On one level, you have to give it to Jeff Ireland. As much as I hate him for all the dumb moves he's made, getting Wake was genius. Wake was scouted from the CFL, given the largest NFL contract ever given to a player out of the CFL (The previous high was 3 beaver pelts and NHL season tickets) and we got a Pro Bowler for chump change.

The bad news is that Cameron Wake doesn't like you calling him a chump. He does not like it one bit. So Cameron Wake is now holding out until a contract extension is reached. I almost always despise player holdouts but with Wake being 30 and currently being paid less than his backup, it's time to pay him. I know we have limited cap space and we still need to sign the rookies we draft, but there is more than one reason we need to pay Cameron Wake.

An unhappy Cameron Wake puts us all in danger
Cameron Wake clearly deserves a higher salary based on his play, but another prime reason to pay him is public safety. Wake has built a reputation for being a model citizen off the field and a tireless workaholic on it. He is known for being a gym-rat, often the first guy to get there and the last guy to leave. But you take away that gym and those workouts and you then have a very strong, very angry gentleman walking around South Florida. He's nice, but so is Bruce Banner before people piss him off. When he files his taxes, how long is he going to stand in line at the post office before the line of people start to look like an offensive line and the teller starts to look like Tom Brady? He seems really nice, but why test him?

Hopefully we get this deal done soon. In the mean time, the holdout frees him up to do other jobs on the side. I have some suggestions.

Ways for Cameron Wake to Make Money During His Holdout

1.Do Commercials
Although he is well known by other players and coaches, he is virtually unknown to a lot of fans outside Miami and there is no excuse for it. Unlike past Dolphins who aspired to a career in acting, the only role he seems interesting in auditioning for is lead murderer in his opponent's nightmares. He should have more of the fame and endorsements that come from playing at a high level and that starts with becoming a pitchman. I've drawn up a couple quick ideas for products that might suit him.

2.Teach Yoga
It would put money in his pockets and more importantly, it would keep him calm so we can all breathe a little easier. Plus, when he says to stretch as far as you can, you'd know he means it. I'm pretty sure Ricky Williams could help him get started.

3.Teach High School in Miami
"You forgot your physics homework? No problem. I'd be happy to summarize it with an example. An object, like my fist, in motion stays in motion until something else, like your face, pushes or pulls on it. See, it's not my fist that's beating your ass right now. It's really inertia." Miami students need help and Wake is just the guy to give it to them. It would be like Dangerous Minds if Michelle Pfeiffer put on an extra 160 pounds of muscle.

On second thought, he may not be tough enough for that last job. Seriously Dolphins. Pay the man already.

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