Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Dolphins Need to Stop Asking Us to Have Faith

Clyde Gates and Vontae Davis getting some off-season modelling work.
I don't normally write posts on Sundays, but this one felt appropriate. If you haven't already heard, Clyde Gates has recently moved into the t-shirt business. He has a line of shirts with BIM in big letters which stands for "Believe In Miami" or "Believe In Me". 

These shirts come 2 weeks after our new coach spoke to fans on a conference call and said,

“Sometimes you have to have faith. There’s a little bit of the chicken and the egg here, but I’m asking you for your faith and your confidence in me that I’m going to be able to deliver the results that will make everybody in Miami proud of what this football team does on the field and off the field."
Philbin preaches from the gospel of George Michael.

The word "faith" is a perfect word to use because faith is defined as a belief not based in proof. By that definition, all Dolphins fans already have faith. You can't be a Dolphin fan without it because all the proof the Dolphins have given us leaves faith as our only path to optimism. In fact, as a cynical atheist, my belief that the Dolphins could win the Super Bowl this season is the closest thing to real faith I've got.

As followers of the Dolphins, we have all read from the Book of Shula of a team that miraculously played an entire season of football without losing a game. We've heard stories of an Isotoner Gloved savior who broke all the NFL passing records but was tragically denied a Super Bowl. These stories are great, but it feels like they happened 2000 years ago. Our faith has been tested a lot since then. We've been wondering through the NFL desert for years now. Despite making the playoffs once in the last 10 seasons and finishing 6 of the last 8 seasons under .500, every Sunday (during the season) we still come out to show our faith.

To most people, that sounds like Scientology-level crazy.We have had faith in the last 7 coaches we've had in the 16 seasons since Shula. We've had faith in the 16 starting Quarterbacks in the past 12 seasons since Marino retired. Just this offseason, we had faith they'd get Manning. We had faith that they wouldn't trade away a Pro Bowl receiver for some 3rd round picks. We are holding onto faith but it's getting hard.

With all this proof stacked up against the Dolphins, the only place they can go is to preach faith. They can suggest this offseason seems like a disaster but maybe it's just part of a larger master plan that we mortals can't possibly understand. Maybe our next Pro Bowl QB is waiting for us in the draft. Maybe this time really is going to be different. We believe it because we have no choice.

That is why I hate Philbin asking us to have faith and Clyde Gates making those "Believe In Miami" shirts. I do believe in Miami. I have believed in Miami when I had no logical reason to do it. I've done my part just like all the Dolphins fans who have stuck with them through these hard times have. That's why those BIM shirts are bullshit. I've taken some time to draw up some better shirts for Clyde Gates and the other Dolphins players to wear.

If anyone reading this plays for the Dolphins and wants one of these shirts, let me know. It's the least I can do.

1 comment:

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