Despite repeated attempts by his teammates to convince him how cool he would be if he started a dog-fighting ring, it looks like Allen is here to stay. Since the Dolphins have 9 million dollars in money promised to him, it's unlikely they will cut him, but because he has proven that every time he laces up his cleats he is a danger to the team, Jason Allen should be demoted to janitor. Obviously it will take him a few months to learn the position and he will never be trusted with any dangerous chemicals, but at least the Dolphins are getting something in exchange for their 9 Million dollars and wasted draft pick, even if it's just a sparkly clean floor. He'll probably forget which part of locker room floor he has been assigned to mop and get flagged for forgetting to use the "Wet Floor" sign, but at least the team is limiting the damage he can inflict. If he is able to master the job and move up the janitorial depth chart, he can be groomed for other more complicated positions like towel boy or team security officer, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Demote Jason Allen to Janitor
Despite repeated attempts by his teammates to convince him how cool he would be if he started a dog-fighting ring, it looks like Allen is here to stay. Since the Dolphins have 9 million dollars in money promised to him, it's unlikely they will cut him, but because he has proven that every time he laces up his cleats he is a danger to the team, Jason Allen should be demoted to janitor. Obviously it will take him a few months to learn the position and he will never be trusted with any dangerous chemicals, but at least the Dolphins are getting something in exchange for their 9 Million dollars and wasted draft pick, even if it's just a sparkly clean floor. He'll probably forget which part of locker room floor he has been assigned to mop and get flagged for forgetting to use the "Wet Floor" sign, but at least the team is limiting the damage he can inflict. If he is able to master the job and move up the janitorial depth chart, he can be groomed for other more complicated positions like towel boy or team security officer, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Labels:
Janitor,
Jason Allen,
Miami Dolphins,
Nick Saban,
Randy Moss
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