Saturday, April 5, 2008

Draftacular 2008

We did it! We played poorly enough last year to earn the #1 Draft Pick. We're #1! We're #1! Before we start celebrating too hard, we need to think really hard about this pick, because this draft, for better or worse will go a long way toward determining our fate for the years to come. There are several reasons our team is not great at the moment, but mismanagement of the draft is easily at the top of that list. In my neverending quest to help save the Dolphins, I'll give you a look at our last 5 drafts, a look at this year's top draft prospects and a look to the past for some advice from our last three coaches on what they'd do with the pick. I hope you like tables, because this post is full of them.

The draft has not been kind to the Dolphins for the past decade. If the season were to start tomorrow, less than half of our starters would be people we drafted. Here’s a look back at the last 5 drafts.

The Past 5 Drafts

 1st Rd Pick
Pro Bowlers They Could Have Drafted
Dumb Moves
Decent Moves
 Ricky Williams
Lito Shepard

Michael Lewis 
Traded two 1st Round Picks for Ricky Williams, not a brilliant Move.
Got Randy McMichael in the 4th Rd 
 Asante Samual

Larry Johnson
See 2002 for Ricky.

Eddie Moore in the 2nd Rd didn't pan out. 
Got Yeremiah Bell in the 6th Rd 
 Vernon Carey
 Bob Sanders

Jared Allen
Giving a 4th Rd pick to move up a spot for Carey, who most saw as a 2nd Rd pick
Got Rex Hadnot in 6th Rd
 Ronnie Brown
 Demarcus Ware

Braylon Edwards

Traded 2nd Rd Pick for AJ Feely

Ronnie Brown and Channing Crowder in the  4th Round
 Jason Allen
Antonio Cromartie

Marcus McNeil 
Jason Allen

Trading 2nd Rd pick for Culpepper
 Derek Hagan in the 3rd. If he ever learns to hold onto the ball it will be a great pick.
 Ted Ginn
Patrick Willis 
 Too early to know for sure, but Ted Ginn at #9 was interesting.
Samson Satele in 2nd Rd

Luckily, this year we have the Tuna in our war room this year. It seems pretty clear no one wants to trade for the top pick so here’s a look at who we have to choose from.

2008 Draft Prospects

Why He'll
Save The Dolphins
Why He Won't
Chris Long
May follow father Howie’s footsteps and be a Hall of Famer. 
 May follow father’s footsteps and star in a shitty movie like Firestorm
Jake Long
 Huge guy, good combine. We haven’t had a Pro Bowl Left Tackle since the Macarena was the #1 song. (1996)
$30 million is a lot to guarantee to a guy a lot of people think may be a Right Tackle. 
Matt Ryan
Boston Collge
Could possibly be a franchise QB 
Could just be overrated like every other Boston athlete since they had their overrated Tea Party 
Ohio State
Combine freak, showed he is an elite athlete. He completed the 40 before the gun finished going off, then bench pressed a bus 37 times.
It would be a conversion project to get him to switch to outside linebacker. 
Great combine, great college career. Widely believed to be the #1 talent in this draft.
We have a ton of running backs. Also, last time we gave a 1st round pick for a RB with character concerns and a ton of illegitimate babies, he ran off to India to teach yoga.  
 Dominating defender. Can play hurt
More suited for a 4-3. Has a bum knee. 

If the Tuna needs some help deciding what to do with the pick, Here’s some advice from our last 3 coaches.

 Former Dolphin Coach
What He'd Do
Why He'd Do it
Dave Wannestedt
 I would trade this year and next year's #1 picks for Travis Henry.
How could that go wrong? 
Nick Saban
I would lie and say I'm not going to draft anyone, then I would draft Darren McFadden.
I would draft him because I am physically unable to draft anyone who didn’t play in the SEC and I would lie because I'm a piece of shit.
Cam Cameron
I would draft FSU Long Snapper, Garrison Sanborn. 
I know his family and they are good people.